My dear,
you really must know that God loves you so much that He wants you to be the best among other people. God has a bigger plan for you than you can imagine or think about! And it's almost the beginning of it! I feel this.
Even your name- the name you are carrying- tells this: that you are loved, you are His beloved! and God delights in you even if you maybe feel down or not ok in your heart. We all have this kind of need: a desire for more of God, more more of God, and it feels like we are so empty that we are not good enough for Him or what we're doing is not how He wants, but i think God loves us exactly the way we are, with our thirst and hunger, with our brokeness and hurts, when we feel pain or when we are completely in adoration for Him, and the only thing He wants is to go before Him, in His presence with our simple hearts and there He can completely fulfill that need.
I believe that God knows us better than we know ourselves; He knows us before we even were born, and I believe God sees everything you're going through in your life. And because you are His, He WON'T let you get lost.
I can see that your heart is praying this: "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, (Song of Songs 8:6)" but because He is the Almighty God He already knows everything: "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)" He knows every single cry of your heart, every desire, dream or need. I believe that where He leads us He puts us there for a reason, sometimes it seems hard because we cannot see the whole image, we cannot see what He has prepared.
Your name is written in the palm of God's hand "See, I engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." (Isaiah 49:16), your name is written in Heaven "but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." (Luke 10:20)
You are His child and God won't let anything or someone to take you away from Him.
Maybe it's the fact that you find yourself far away from home, in a new place where you have to start with everything from the beginning - trust in people, finding a place that feels secure or comfortable, maybe you're feeling alone and you think that God himself is not there too. But I know that in these moments God is not far away from you, He is right beside you.
There is nothing we can do to make God love us less or more - He loves us continually and infinitely, forever.
You are a treasure. Your name means treasured - You are precious in God's eyes, the most precious thing on earth for Him. He cares about you from the bottom of His heart. Have you ever thought about God's heart? About His heart as a father? or have you ever thought about feeling the beat of His heart? I believe He can show you and make you feel His heartbeat that He has for you. Huge! It's such an immeasurable love!
If we stop and think, moments of loneliness and emptiness we felt before many times, but God brought us even closer to Him in those moments. I see God like a father for me, a real father - He never let us down, He never disappoints, He never hurts us, He loves us to madness, He is full of compassion and mercy, full of goodness and blessing, and His love never fails.
We are humans, it's true, and i see how many times i'm struggling by myself to do something, to fight for something, but I never succed until I let God to take care of everything. I have to put Him first above all else.
We are not alone in this; I mean we don't fight and struggle to make it better because we can't. He is the one who molds us, and makes us look more like Him. We just have to have faith and stay close to His words and His promises. I also think that there where God placed you right now and (maybe) it seems hard, God is polishing you to become more like Him, in you to be seen His character, His light for those around you.
I will pray for you that His presence and love to warm your heart, for you to feel His real touch, for a renewing of mind, body, spirit and heart, so you would become more stronger and more like Jesus. Nothing stands against you and God. He wants you as much as you say you want to know Him, His heart.
I will pray for peace, His peace in your heart so you can hear how He calms every storm inside and outside, and for your sadness to disappear from your heart. His joy and rest fills your heart.
God loves you, He is not mad with you, you didn't disappoint Him. He really cares about you and He loves you even at your darkest.
My mom is always saying me to sing when I feel down or sad or worried, because singing and praising God brings peace and joy in heart. Do the same.
You are incredibly beautiful and lovely and sweet and smart!
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