Monday, March 24, 2014

adevarul nu e niciodata interzis.

raspunsul tau e ca arsita soarelui in luna lui cuptor.
de ce nu vine?
in soarele de august toropind,
pe frunte-ti curg sudori.
te-ai ascunde dar nu ai unde, nu ai cum.

ai bea un strop de la izvor - ar alina durerea
dar nepasarea-i val vartej
si te-a rapus in lan
de mijloc.

de-atunci ai schiopatat usor zile de-a randul
si nu ai incetat sa rogi
prefericitul inger:

raspunde-mi.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

questions

how can we respond to someone without hurting them when we are hurt? how can we avoid to hurt someone when we are hurt? how can we respond in love and not out of our pain?

oh, de ar stii cineva cate am pe inima.. mi-e gandul sa ma duc sa ma inchid intr-o cabina de spovedanie la preot...poate asa as gasi un prieten si un umar care sa asculte.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

A childlike heart

i wish i could still be like a 3 year old little girl and when i would wake up in the morning the first thing i would say would be: "I am a princess." This is how Gabrielle is doing every day when she wakes up. i keep telling her how beautiful she is, like a princess.

today this made me think about how important it is to know our true identity in God, about how we were created to be and to live this life.
we've been created in His own image - we've been redeemed with the price of His precious blood, this must make us think how much we matter to Him. we are His precious children.
we've been created to live like His childs, our joy, identity and freedom is found in Him alone. God's love for us amazes me - His love is unconditionally, is not based on what we do perfectly right or anything else, except Himself. He loves us at our best and worse. when we will truly believe that He loves us this much we will start to see ourselves as He sees us. i know that many times i let the enemy to steal the joy of this truth from my heart and letting him to bring doubt and dissapointment, and this is so wrong. once i've been made right in Christ nothing nothing nothing can separate me from His love. I'm God's child forever. He will never abandon me, or leave me, or forsake me, because His love is eternal and He will always be by my side.
i know who i am in Christ, i know how precious i am and how wonderful i've been created to be, but i pray and i need His strength to live in His truth every day and in every circumstance. I proclaim His truth in my life:

I am a princess.

i also thought about how God sees us like flowers, like a garden that He wants to take care of. A garden to look beautiful has to be cleaned first, and so i imagine God taking care of our hearts. if He is the gardener of our hearts we will be cleaned and He will cut down everything that doesn't please His heart.
God cares about your heart and everything it's in it, He wants to take care of it. If we won't let Him to take care of it, we will grow weary and we won't be in blossom and joy as we should be.
Winter is gone, but spring is already here.
Let Him make you who He wants you to be.

"My beloved spoke and said to me,
Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me. "---Song of Songs 2:10-11

Saturday, February 22, 2014

well, yeahhh.. here is a good question that went through my mind this evening while i was watching White Collar with my sister. How do men match their tie to a suit?

if i would be a guy i would wear any tie. i like ties. bowties. ;)

Thursday, February 20, 2014

my soul is bitter and in pain, and it seems like it's not only one hurt - it hurts in all the corners of my heart and soul.  i know that you know this God, and i know that you won't leave me this way. my life depends on You.

why are you cast down and sad, oh my soul?
why can't you live and be full of life and joy? i know there are not only flowers on this path, in this world and life is not "la vie en rose". my God, could You please heal this sea of pain? this sea of sadness from my soul, from my eyes?

i know that for my life You prepared everything, in a unique way, making me unique and i know that in Your eyes i'm precious, i have value. i know that in Your word there is no lie.
my God, i'm fighting with this thoughts that troubles my heart, and this is not from You. i fight to see my true worth that you poured out in me. i'm fighting to not believe all the lies that i'm not good enough and that my life is nothing without meaning, sense, when i know that You wrote on it with Your precious blood "Glorious- one that brings glory to My name".
i fight to be a true believer, to love the way you teach me how to do it, when it's hard to love because we are not perfect. i fight to hear Your voice louder than anything that tells me that i have to hate and to stop being what You made me to be and what You created in me. i fight to hear Your voice in the storm when in fact You are next to me and You calm everything. my God, i fight to be myself. i don't know how to live. i fight to breathe and my heart struggles to beat. make it beat for You.

my help comes from the Lord.
pure truth, but i'm wondering how? through what? by whom? it is said that God works through us, the human beings. my help comes from the Lord, but How? what is a friend when a friend is closer than a brother? and what does to love, to care mean?
there are no good samaritans among us anymore, or i'm living in the most awful place on this earth maybe.

i know that two thousand years ago someone overcame all this for me and He said " It is finished."
and right now, i need Him. i need Him to help me see the truth.


Sunday, February 16, 2014

so faith by itself, if it doesn not have works, is dead. - james 2:17

faith without works/action is dead. this applies in the case of friendship too, right? friendship without action is in fact dead. just saying that you are friend with someone it is not enough. it is the same with love too, right?
just saying to someone that you love that person but you're not showing it, it is nothing in fact. am i right?
for me it does make sense.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

delicious food i like...

SYRIAN FOOD
One day we went to visit a refugee family and they invited us to have lunch with them; they prepared for us real syrian food and it was more than yummi and good!

We really felt welcomed- I am grateful for this experience and for everyone I've met and for every new place I've seen.

And one morning we had egyptian breakfast - beans with pickles, which was very weird for me to eat it in the morning, but it was delicious! :)




 And that one time when we went to buy some cake and we took a picture with the store's employees. This is kunefa:






Tuesday, February 11, 2014


Goodbye Istanbul

We left Istanbul at 2am, we were all tired and anxious to arrive in Jordan. At about half the distance of our journey we went through a snow storm and it was so intense that we thought we will crash and die, and we started to pray. For sure God didn't lead us there to let us die up in the air.
We landed safely in Amman after all the turbulences, we all felt sick but we were with our feet on the ground, thanking God for keeping us safe.
A local person took us with a car from the airport and we drove for one hour and a half to Mafraq, the city where we stayed for a week.
Jordan is a beautiful, though scanty country. There are villages strewn all over the hills, beduin and refugee tents and olive orchards.
Syrian men take their families to the town of Mafraq or into the camp, leave them to their own fate and cross the border again in order to fight in their home country.
We helped the local church  to distribute mattresses, pillows, blankets, stoves with gas, food and whatever those people needed, and not only this, we wanted to share God's love and to be a light for them, we wanted to bring comfort and to encourage them that there is hope, there is a hope that lasts forever- that hope we find in God alone.
Put into groups of three or four we daily visited the Syrians. Few of them live in tents in the town. Most have found shelter in shacks, cellars or shabby rooftop rooms the Jordanians give them. Unfortunately, they take horrendous prices for that as the guests have no options...
There are 60.000 Jordanians and now another 60.000 Syrians in the town or more..
Some Syrians are doing well enough to afford a furbished room, most of them are not. Nobody has a work permission, thousands of refugees come to church for help and to be registered every day.
Their lives are completely out of what comfort or familiar or safety means. Their stories sound like those from some horror movies. People are hurt, grieving, with emotional traumas- especially the children- without a hope of a future or a way to rebuild their lives.
Visiting them and bringing them food also opened a door for us to share about God's love and about that hope we find only in Jesus. It was surprinsigly to see how they didn't reject us or the message we brought, and we prayed together in the name of Jesus.
God is using this little church for two years now when no one heard about it before. God brings hope, life, healing, and help for these people in need. And i know it's only the beginning...

Jordanian desert and the UN refugees's camp


Beni and Elisa helping at the distribution of mattresses and pillows

in the church 

Magued, one of the volunteers who helped at bringing food for the refugees

Egyptians volunteers

Mafraq's streets



 


view from the rooftop of the church

almost 19 C degrees in Jordan; it was sunny


Amman


Sunday, February 9, 2014

Is this possible?

Is it possible that maybe I took away all their hate and gave them all my love so that they won't hate again and live a life in love, in hope? And maybe this way they won't be lost again and then for me it would still be a chance to find love and to love again.

The rising sun

Still living in Paris since three autumns ago and been seeing God's hand and answers more than many times in my life and I am grateful that He was beside me every moment I needed it. I know His plans for my life are the best and I choose to trust Him and wait upon Him always.
 Some verses that encouraged me recently through a friend, from Jeremiah 1:11,12 "The word of the LORD came to me saying, "What do you see, Jeremiah?" And I said, "I see a rod of an almond tree." Then the LORD said to me, "You have seen well, for I am watching over My word to perform it." And I loved this passage and it remained in my heart because it's carrying a message of hope. God is watching that His will to be done, His word to be fulfilled. He is watching over us so that His will to be done in our lives. What He says and what He promises He keeps, He fulfills, He gives, He does. He is watchful when we need something so we can have it, He watches to make sure that His children are being blessed and they prosper. Also He watches to make sure that we are living in His will - even if we will fall He continues to lift us up, to forgive us, to love us, over and over again. He is watching over us so that we may grow in faith and be strengthened in Him.
 God is so good! He wants to be sure that you have everything you need to remain in Him, and to continue to trust Him. God knows what you're going through right now, and He says "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." because He loves you with an everlasting love and He can't stop thinking about you.
I've been praying for something new, something fresh in my life and I received the answer. Sometimes it's worth the waiting. And as I came to Romania to see my dentist, my staying here got to be longer than i planned it but it turned to be something beautiful and unexpected. One day a friend wrote me about a mission trip to Jordan to help the syrian refugees there and it lit something in my heart and it made me want to go. It's incredible how God put things together and everything went well and i could go with other three people, also my best friends. They have great hearts for loving God and serving Him and sharing His love with other people, with those in need and it's been an honor to be part of this team- i haven't been on (a) mission for four years but my heart still beats for this and I hope to go back there, on missions, for a full time soon.
The sun is rising above the clouds at 6 am in the morning carrying a new hope, a fresh start for each one of us. "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." We had a 18h layover in Istanbul so we had time to visit the city around for a few hours. So here are some photos from our tour in Istanbul:
6am waiting for our flight
in Istanbul, having breakfast and some turkish tea
visiting the Blue Mosque
The Basilica Cistern
soup - that probably Ian would like it more than me- it was spicy;
he told me his roommate made him soup one day - i think it was the same
a delicious lunch at Tamara's restaurant. enjoying a chiken kebab
at the bazaar. always full of people
with beni and elisa and andreea behing the camera. love them.
spicy condiments
between Europe and Asia
The Bosphorus strait, between the new and the old Istanbul

my beautiful friends.

Can you find me??

Monday, January 27, 2014

stay tuned...

Hello dear friends, I know I haven't been here for a while, but I will come back with some fresh thoughts really soon. Until then I hope you're all ok. Revin cu vesti din Orientul Mijlociu. Hugs

Sunday, December 15, 2013

tonight I was thinking about my time in Paris, thinking if I regret everything I've been through, but I guess not. I don't regret anything because I know that in every decision and every situation God has been with me, all the time. I don't regret the fact that I came back here, after how much I've been against to it this summer... I know God has a plan for my life and He makes all things to work together for my good. what would I be without Him? and where? Life has no sense without God in it. I'm thankful for every hard moment, because I know He was working good in me. "Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to me." He is good in me and has good for me, because He loves me and I am His. Your name be glorified in my life, God! I live for You and I know that You can use me for Your glory! Make me who You want me to be! "Romans 4:20-22 No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He has promised. This is why his faith was "counted to him as righteousness." "

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

My dear,
you really must know that God loves you so much that He wants you to be the best among other people. God has a bigger plan for you than you can imagine or think about! And it's almost the beginning of it! I feel this.

Even your name- the name you are carrying- tells this: that you are loved, you are His beloved! and God delights in you even if you maybe feel down or not ok in your heart. We all have this kind of need: a desire for more of God, more more of God, and it feels like we are so empty that we are not good enough for Him or what we're doing is not how He wants, but i think God loves us exactly the way we are, with our thirst and hunger, with our brokeness and hurts, when we feel pain or when we are completely in adoration for Him, and the only thing He wants is to go before Him, in His presence with our simple hearts and there He can completely fulfill that need.
I believe that God knows us better than we know ourselves; He knows us before we even were born, and I believe God sees everything you're going through in your life. And because you are His, He WON'T let you get lost.
I can see that your heart is praying this: "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, (Song of Songs 8:6)" but because He is the Almighty God He already knows everything: "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)" He knows every single cry of your heart, every desire, dream or need. I believe that where He leads us He puts us there for a reason, sometimes it seems hard because we cannot see the whole image, we cannot see what He has prepared.
Your name is written in the palm of God's hand "See, I engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." (Isaiah 49:16), your name is written in Heaven "but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." (Luke 10:20)
You are His child and God won't let anything or someone to take you away from Him.
Maybe it's the fact that you find yourself far away from home, in a new place where you have to start with everything from the beginning - trust in people, finding a place that feels secure or comfortable, maybe you're feeling alone and you think that God himself is not there too. But I know that in these moments God is not far away from you, He is right beside you.
There is nothing we can do to make God love us less or more - He loves us continually and infinitely, forever.
You are a treasure. Your name means treasured - You are precious in God's eyes, the most precious thing on earth for Him. He cares about you from the bottom of His heart. Have you ever thought about God's heart? About His heart as a father? or have you ever thought about feeling the beat of His heart? I believe He can show you and make you feel His heartbeat that He has for you. Huge! It's such an immeasurable love!
If we stop and think, moments of loneliness and emptiness we felt before many times, but God brought us even closer to Him in those moments. I see God like a father for me, a real father - He never let us down, He never disappoints, He never hurts us, He loves us to madness, He is full of compassion and mercy, full of goodness and blessing, and His love never fails.
We are humans, it's true, and i see how many times i'm struggling by myself to do something, to fight for something, but I never succed until I let God to take care of everything. I have to put Him first above all else.
We are not alone in this; I mean we don't fight and struggle to make it better because we can't. He is the one who molds us, and makes us look more like Him. We just have to have faith and stay close to His words and His promises. I also think that there where God placed you right now and (maybe) it seems hard, God is polishing you to become more like Him, in you to be seen His character, His light for those around you.
I will pray for you that His presence and love to warm your heart, for you to feel His real touch, for a renewing of mind, body, spirit and heart, so you would become more stronger and more like Jesus. Nothing stands against you and God. He wants you as much as you say you want to know Him, His heart.
I will pray for peace, His peace in your heart so you can hear how He calms every storm inside and outside, and for your sadness to disappear from your heart. His joy and rest fills your heart.
God loves you, He is not mad with you, you didn't disappoint Him. He really cares about you and He loves you even at your darkest.
My mom is always saying me to sing when I feel down or sad or worried, because singing and praising God brings peace and joy in heart. Do the same.
You are incredibly beautiful and lovely and sweet and smart!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

what God can't do...

1. He can't stop thinking about you. Ps 139:13 You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother's body. 
what is He doing in His own free time? He is thinking about you. You are so important for Him that He can't stop thinking about you.

2. He can't stop loving you. Jeremiah 31:3 I love you with a love that lasts forever, that is why I have ontinued to show you kindness. 
He declared it: Eternal Love, all the time. 

3. He can't abandon you. Deut. 31:6 Don't be afraid of them and don't be frightened, because the Lord your God will go with you. He will not leave you or forget you. 
He will never throw you away.

4. He can't lie. Numbers 23:29 God is not a human being, and He will not lie. He is not a human, and He does not change His mind. What He says He does, what He promises He makes come true. 

5. He can't break His promises. 

6. He can't remember your sins. Isaiah 43:25 I, I am the One who erases all your sins, for my sake, I will not remember your sins. 

7. He can't produce failures. He is victory, in His name you are victorious. 
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere." 

8. He can't get tired. Isaiah 40:28 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, His understanding is unsearchable.

9. He can't start a work without finishing it. John 17, Ephesians 2:10.

10. He can't be unholy! Isaiah 6:3 Holy, holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory. 
1 Peter 1:15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct!

the miracle is in You- 

Saturday, October 5, 2013

te-ai lepadat de mine de trei ori si nici nu a cantat cocosul,
ai rasarit in flori de gheata pe fereastra din colt a inimii.
s-a dus toamna. incepe o noua era la patinoar.

Monday, April 8, 2013

- Nu pot sa mananc, a spus ea. Nu. Nu pot..
- Sunt deja satula. Fluturii mi-au saturat stomacul. Si nu imi mai doresc nimic altceva.

E verde deasupra mea, intre mine si cer.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

astept cu sufletul la gura, cu inima inclinata, cautand sentimentul de apartenenta in gramada de caramizi in care sufletul mi-e incuiat.

tentative de iscalituri si portrete pe jumatate sterse, uitate si ingalbenite de timp..
ce ma enerveaza timpul.

flamand inghit cu ochii visul, speranta si dorul...
traind intr-un viitor necunoscut.

Monday, March 11, 2013

ma uitam la buchetul meu de flori, care Rezista de cateva zile, si ma gandeam:

as vrea sa am frumusetea unei flori, dar care sa se nu ofileasca niciodata!

De ce se ofileste o floare?

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Am cunoscut doi oameni

(tocmai am descoperit ca supararea uneori e amuzanta.)

am cunoscut doi oameni care stateau imbratisati intr-o inclestare de ultima data pe-o banca. in fata ochilor mei se intampla viata.
am intalnit un inger.

curgea din privirile lui si dragostea si bunatatea si cerul. n-am mai vazut niciodata un inger.
si mi-a fost trimis mie.
will i ever meet you again, dear angel?

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Exercitiu de gandire

sunt un melc cu sufletul tulbure.
am baut apa dintr-un izvor cu unde verzi.
inchis in cochilie joc,
un joc cu-autobenzi.

nu poti sa pui nici stop, nu poti sa dai nici save.
o viata ai si .. si trebuie sa ai grija sa nu o pierzi,
ci doar sa avansezi.

mi-e greu sa urc la deal cateodata,
mi-e greu sa nu alunec inapoi.

sunt melc si azi joc sah cu Dumnezeu.
El face o mutare, iar eu privesc.

Eu stau si ma gandesc ce-ar trebui sa fac.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

incerc sa rezolv o problema de matematica si imi da cu.. eroare.
nu stiu cu ce am gresit,.. unde?